It’s not often I post a near-complete script of a podcast episode, but this one is different. Carrie Fisher’s 2001 made-for-TV movie These Old Broads is among my favorite movies ever… right up there with Airport, Oceans 8 and Meet Me in St. Louis. 

If you’d rather listen than read, head over to Advanced TV Herstory and listen directly from the website or find it in most places you find podcasts.

Welcome back, TV herstorians! This episode of Advanced TV Herstory – the podcast that has connected the dots between TV and feminism to American politics and culture for 6 years is a dive into the deep end of classic Hollywood history, courtesy of the dearly departed Carrie Fisher’s genius and writing talent.

Are you ready for obscure? Here we go!

In winter of 2001, a made-for-TV movie called These Old Broads aired on ABC. You’ve likely never heard of it because made-for-TV movies are the TV equivalent of fast fashion. Disposable. Rest assured, you CAN find These Old Broads on streaming services and also on DVD. 

I know, I know, you’re asking…. Cynthia, what distinguishes this movie from any other that’s landed in the dustbin? Three things, I say. The cast, the writing team and just as important, the subject matter.

Do you remember seeing On Golden Pond… or should I say, 6 category Oscar winner On Golden Pond? On Golden Pond was a project led by Jane Fonda – a work that she thought would be perfect to finally appear with her father in. And yes, with Katharine Hepburn as the other geriatric lead. 

In her 2005 memoir, Jane details the heaven and earth that was moved to get the pieces in place for filming. The race against time had a lot to do with Henry Fonda’s heart condition. He lived long enough to see the Oscar ceremony announcing his only Oscar win… and not much more. On Golden Pond is a classic. Watch it if it’s been too long. You’re bound to see it in a whole new light than the last time you viewed it.

Okay, so the cast of These Old Broads – not exactly 2 Fondas and a Hepburn, but pretty close! Shirley MacLaine, Debbie Reynolds, Joan Collins and Elizabeth Taylor… in a made-for-TV movie.

Shirley MacLaine bagged her Oscar for her lead in Terms of Endearment in 1983. You may remember her from Postcards From the Edge – based on the book by Carrie Fisher, The Apartment or Steel Magnolias.

Debbie Reynolds was Carrie Fisher’s mother and yes, passed just days after Carrie in December 2016. Debbie’s Oscar is for humanitarian work – namely buying up Hollywood costumes, props and artifacts through the years. Many of these priceless items are now finding a permanent home in the new Academy Museum of Motion Pictures. Other items were sold off at auctions so Debbie could pay back taxes and other debts left by her trail of embezzling husbands. You may love Debbie from her 50s film career, like Singin’ in the Rain or Tammy and The Bachelor.

Joan Collins – yes, Alexis from Dynasty – is part of this golden quartet – and earned her 

place in it. One look at her career in the 50s and 60s shows an actor who paid her dues in film and TV. She was episodes of Star Trek, Batman and Police Woman before landing her iconic role as Alexis Carrington in ABC’s Dynasty in 1981. All these women were born within 2 years of each other and were ready to film a TV movie that required them to sing, dance and perform a parody of Hollywood.

Rounding out the quartet is Elizabeth Taylor, who neither sings nor dances in the film. In fact, she mostly sits in a bed as a parody of herself. Her role as an iconic Hollywood agent who still has a few clients is both modeled after a real woman but also a visual tip of the hat to her legend. Oh and if you’re keeping score, Taylor’s leading actress Oscars came for her work in Butterfield 8 and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. She too earned the Academy’s humanitarian recognition for her leadership in raising awareness and funding for HIV/AIDS.

These Old Broads was written by Carrie Fisher and Elaine Pope. Fisher, in addition to acting, was a prolific author and script doctor. Pope wrote for TV including Seinfeld and Not Necessarily The News and in film, Alfie. News coverage in February 2001 reported that Fisher had been working on the concept of These Old Broads before and after hospitalization for mental illness.

And the script is, literally, right out of Hollywood history.

A 40 year old movie’s re-release is a hit and there’s focus on the 3 main actresses. The adopted son of one has to make these old broads perform in a show together. One problem: they hate each other.

“Boy Crazy” is the name of the big movie being celebrated for its Golden Hollywood sugary look at young love, cars and 50s music. MacLaine, Reynolds and Collins have all moved on in life but are invited to do a TV salute to Boy Crazy as mature performers. Along the way, viewers are treated to tangled backstories, grudges, bad blood and scandal that Fisher weaves tightly into 90 minutes.

Embedded in the wacky plot are real life analogies of events from Fisher’s life and love of 

Hollywood. Elizabeth Taylor’s “stealing”  – stealing, of Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds, following the accidental death of Taylor’s husband Mike Todd. The four had been very good friends and even were part of each other’s wedding parties. The world was rocked when headlines reported Eddie Fisher’s abrupt departure from the home he shared with Reynolds and toddler Carrie and baby Todd, to join Taylor, who was near hysteria with grief.

Fisher’s place in Hollywood royal family trees is a hefty portion of her book and stage performance Wishful Drinking in which she connects herself by marriage and divorce to scores of prominent people.

In the LA Times in February 2001 reported, Reynolds believes the project brought Taylor closure. “Elizabeth has tried very hard in her life to make amends, and she certainly has succeeded in doing that,” says Reynolds. “And doing this brought us much closer together. Elizabeth did this for very little money. She wanted to do it for Carrie . . . and she wanted to do it for me.”

“It was like my mother and Elizabeth found each other again,” says Fisher of their time together on the film. “There was a certain point when Elizabeth said to my mother, ‘If there was anything I ever did . . . ,’ then my mother started crying. It was so sweet.”

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Another subplot is one fit for an expert! A reference to Loretta Young, who was a classic Hollywood staple of the 30s, 40s & 50s. Years after it happened, the world discovered that Young, pregnant by Clark Gable, went abroad to deliver her baby and return with it as an adopted daughter. While certainly there’s evidence that major stars had abortions, Fisher chose to incorporate this heartfelt scheme into the plot of These Old Broads.

And lastly, I believe I’ve discovered another Easter egg Carrie Fisher hid in this film. I’ve never read this anywhere, but rather surmised it after many – too many – viewings of These Old Broads and reading books written by Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor and a host of classic Hollywood women. There’s a protective and nearly silent honor of Judy Garland, who also attended Studio School, though was a few years older than Debbie, Elizabeth and others. 

In her 2013 memoir Unsinkable, Debbie Reynolds detailed being at an auction at which a Wizard of Oz dress and ruby slippers were on the block. Reynolds wrote:

“She was talking about legendary designer Adrian’s original costumers for Judy Garland, before Victor Fleming decided he wanted something more contemporary looking (for 1939). The ruby slippers that I sold were closer in design to the description of Dorothy’s shoes in the book. Judy wore these in the wardrobe tests for the film. They were her favorite. The reserve for the blue cotton dress was $60,000. I felt a pang as this treasure appeared on the screen. Judy had been my dear friend. I loved every role she played. How could I let this dress go? But I had no choice.

Do you want to know how much Judy’s dress – not even the one that appeared in the film sold for? $910,000.

Reynolds and so many others share very little about their connections to Judy. Many of them indeed went on to have special relationships with Liza Minnelli, Garland’s higher profile daughter. 

So I am particularly intrigued when, toward the end of These Old Broads, in a bid to buy Shirley MacLaine’s character time for a heart to heart with her son at a gay bar, Reynolds and Collins provide a major distraction. Like what? In great condition for their late 60s – playing the roles of iconic singing and dancing actors, Reynolds and Collins hop up on the bar and belt Get Happy – as in, Come on along get happy, put on a happy face. They’re having a ball doing it, especially when joined by adoring gay men I the audience who assist their dance moves.

Carrie rounded out her salute to These Old Broads by calling upon the best from her mother’s generation. Four of them in person, and one who never lived to be an old broad.

So perhaps you’re asking, how does this equate to the urgency Jane Fonda felt with On Golden Pond?

In the early 2000s, Taylor had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, on top of a host of other maladies she had nursed through the years. In her final decade, she was mostly photographed in a wheelchair or standing for only brief moments. In the late 90s, she told Barbara Walters in a TV interview that her medical issues made her virtually uninsurable as a cast member in a production.

Maybe Carrie watched that interview and knew there was a story to tell – one that required her and Elizabeth Taylor to be a part of.

I recommend These Old Broads highly for viewers of all ages. There are some saucy moments but really, would we expect anything less from Carrie Fisher’s Genius?

Catch it on streaming or find it on DVD. It’s out there! 

Find our episodes on most places you find podcasts, including Spotify, Pandora and YouTube. Intro music is Take Me Higher, by Jahzzer and is found at Free Music Archive.

Every so often TV herstory collides with classic Hollywood herstory, delivering stories of forgiveness and loyalty. This is why I podcast, I’m your host, Cynthia Bemis Abrams